For This, I'm In Debt to Sallie Mae?

I had the most ridiculously absurd writing assignment and found myself in a quandary: Do I take it seriously and play up the angles for the grade or do I be true to myself and show my sarcastic nature and my incredulity at such a topic?

Oh, I suppose you're curious what the topic is. We were to choose an artist, musician, actor, athlete or some other non-political famous person and tell why we believe they should be our next President. We were to do the total campaign pitch and sell. Well, me being the politically cynical person that I am, I decided to really roll with the satire on this one. I just hope my professor will catch my vision. Anyway, I'm posting it here for all the world to see just how warped I really am!




Chris Angel for President
BELIEVE!


It was difficult for me to choose the appropriate candidate that, in my mind, would do the office of President justice. Being politically jaded and incurably cynical as I am, I contemplated the qualities that I feel would make a sound choice for President. Forgive the tongue in cheek approach, I warned you about the cynicism.

I would endorse Chris Angel for President for myriad reasons. First and foremost is that this man has mastered the art of smoke and mirrors, which we can all agree is traditionally uppermost on the list of Presidential qualities. I believe a President must promise, and possess the ability, to magically produce massive quantities of cash out of seeming nothingness to create the illusion of a balanced budget and a healthy economy where milk and honey flow in abundance.

It is well known that there is transparency in all that Mr. Angel does. The slight of hand, so critical for those at the top, is barely perceptible and would pass by our unwitting elected officials, leaving them in awe. Since we have come to shower our leaders of late with an almost worship-like devotion, I feel it important to point out that while other Presidents have thought themselves capable of walking on water, Mr. Angel actually can.

I believe that as the voting public sees my candidate in action, they will soon be ardent admirers like myself. Because Mr. Angel has the power to make one question reality and believe anything, my slogan for his campaign would be “Believe!” and his cast of jugglers, dancers, acrobats and magicians would hit the campaign trail pushing his brand of magic through the primaries and right past the Electoral College!

I will show my Presidential candidate to be a real crowd pleaser and orator. We, the American public, are clueless and require someone wiser in the ways of the world, and skilled at theatrics, to showcase what is most important to our society: The glossy, shallow underbelly of self-indulgence and to regale us with tales about what makes this country great, because we are unable to make such judgments with our own feeble understanding. We require a light show and pyrotechnics to get the point across. This will also be impressed upon the masses when they see that Mr. Angel is admired and respected among the cream of Hollywood, and we all know that whom Hollywood embraces the voters will too.

Mr. Angel will demonstrate the ability to gloss over difficult scenarios so as not to trouble our little heads with such things as truth or facts or reality, to wrap them up in a show-stopping performance that will render us spellbound, a skill that will have the ballots virtually materializing out of thin air!

His first acts would be to strengthen our image in the eyes of the world, striking a bone-chilling fear in those who oppose us. A Commander in Chief must not cower in fear at the darker forces of this world, but must be willing and ready to make a blood pact with the darkest of the dark to secure the interests of the country. Secondly, my Presidential choice will miraculously make trillions of dollars of deficit, out of control for decades, disappear before our very eyes and all will be right with the world again, so please, support my candidate, and don’t forget to send your contributions in care of the Luxor, where Mr. Angel is appearing nightly, honing his craft and mastering his deception as he readies for his candidacy.

Continuing Education

So for my English Composition class, I have to come up with a "mixed tape" that exemplifies something about me...a characteristic or an experience or a phase of my life. That's just a little too broad for me to choose from. I'm much more tunnel-visioned. Anyway, the point is, all the writing assignments have been a breeze, but this one has me stumped. I can't put my finger on why. Maybe I'm stressing too much about whether or not my "fresh out of diapers" classmates will relate to Supertramp's Cannonball. All I have to do is pick 5 lousy songs that I can relate to and write a brief, one paragraph essay as to why.....what's so hard about that? My son (the comedian that he is) informs me that they did this same assignment in his English class during his junior year. Thanks Ian....I feel much better now. Not only am I old and can't get the simplicity of this assignment, but you have effectively taken the shine off my collegiate experience by inferring that "it must be a refresher course". What exactly are you trying to say?

Breaking the Restraints

I have had the most bizarre week! It's just been this wild ride with extreme ups and downs. There were things I thought were bad, but turned out good and things I thought would never get resolved that finally did, with unexpected results.

I was reading in Mosiah, chapter 24, when I came across the last sentence in verse 16: "Be of good comfort, for on the morrow, I will deliver you out of bondage." I can't explain the force with which those words hit me, but I knew that some area of my life was going to either undergo change or reach a resolution. Little did I know, it would be both!

In my personal life, there was one element that has needed resolution and direction for quite some time, but it was never going to happen through my own efforts. It was just one of those things that required the actions of someone else. I just didn't have the strength or insight to see what needed to be done. In retrospect, it was a type of bondage that was preventing me from moving forward or going backward. I was not progressing toward where I needed to be and was just lingering in limbo. When the end came, it was no real surprise, even though at first, I was bewildered. I can't say that I wasn't emotionally unscathed, but I quickly came to recognize a freedom, of sorts, and a new empowerment.

Work is another area with a situation that has been stagnating too long as well. For almost two months, I've been waiting for my review from my boss. He just kept hemming and hawing and I was beginning to feel like I would never get the much anticipated and desperately needed raise. Finally, he called me into his office and gave me the most glowing review I have ever had! He said it was also the best review he has ever given. We ended our interview with the promise of an increase, but how much remained to be seen. I was anticipating the standard 3%, 5% tops! Imagine my surprise when he called me in yesterday and handed me a slip of paper with my new salary written on it.....almost 10% increase in pay! I was literally speechless! He told me it was the highest increase he has ever given!

I've come to the conclusion that "bondage" comes in many forms, as does deliverance. Sometimes bondage is self-imposed, sometimes it is forced upon us and other times, we just sort of stumble into it and can't seem to fight our way back out. In my case, I wasn't even aware that I was "bound" until I was finally freed. It made me begin to understand how easily we can become ensnared by things in our life and not realize the extent of our captivity until it has progressed too far. When we are bound by sin, deliverance is much more difficult to achieve than the events that I have related. My personal experiences were by no means negative, but even so, I didn't see the situations for what they were until I was freed from them. Imagine how swiftly the wrong situations can overpower and trap us, without our even being aware that we are trapped until it's too late......just food for thought.

What Makes You Happy?

Maybe because it's Valentines Day and I don't have a "Valentine" per se, I feel compelled to examine what I DO have that fills my heart with love and joy. I have been contemplating just what it is that defines happiness and have concluded that it's as individual as each of us. For some, happiness is found in the fruits of their labors. For others it is found in pushing their physical limits. There are as many ways to find joy as there are people to share it with.

When I wake in the morning and start each day, expressing my gratitude to the Lord, I find that as I acknowledge each blessing, I discover how much I have in my life that makes me happy. I have been so blessed with wonderful children who have grown to be such steady, admirable adults. They are such gifted people and as they get older, I find that I am truly humbled to have been blessed to have a part in their lives. I have the most adorable grandson on the planet who makes me smile just by hearing his voice or seeing his little face. There is a new grandchild on the way that will undoubtedly steal my heart as well. I have family and friends that have shared in my joys as well as my sorrows and who have supported and sustained me through all aspects of my life. They have shown me such unwavering love and kindness and taught me about selflessness and courage. I have a best friend who lifts my spirits and makes me laugh and who also will listen to me when I need to unburden. Among the many things that bring me happiness, my associations with these people are chief among them.

To all the wonderful people in my life that I value so greatly, I want to wish you all a wonderful Valentines Day and tell you I love you!

Too Much On My Mind

There are just times in one's life when decisions await and difficult choices need to be made. Sometimes those choices are not clearly defined and the result is a restless confusion. So much has been weighing heavily on my mind for so long. I think it has finally come to a head and I am at a fork in the road. How do I decide where to go from here? There is no clear destination. There is no indicator of direction. I know that I need to move toward......something, but what? Does not having these answers make me an unfit companion or an undesirable employee? Do I have to have all my personal questions answered and all my issues resolved to be eligible for the good things in life?

My entire adult life has been primarily that of a stay at home mother and homemaker. How do you incorporate that into a resume so that it looks like an asset rather than a hindrance? I feel so ill prepared for life because I made a conscious choice to put the needs of others ahead of my own. Was that the wrong thing to do? My heart tells me no but my current situation gives me pause to wonder. For others in my situation, how do you find balance? How did you or do you prepare for your own future and stability whilst putting the needs of your family first and foremost? More importantly, how, after letting so many years pass under the bridge, do you make up for lost time?

There are those in my life that see my indecision as a sign of weakness....a flaw. I might be viewed as unmotivated when in reality, I am just feeling like a fish out of water. I don't want my old life back and don't want to put forth that impression. This isn't about regrets: This is about uncertainty, maybe fear. A good friend has encouraged me to "conquer my fears" and I am trying to do that. One major issue is that even my fears aren't clearly defined.

Today was Fast Sunday and I began my fast by trying to identify things in my life that I felt warranted attention and focus. I felt that I needed to find some answers and obtain some guidance that only my Father in Heaven could offer me. For the most part, I received...at the very least peace, but I am still floundering. My prayers were indeed answered, but the answers themselves are enigmas wrapped in conundrums. My friend Mary Lou bore testimony about struggles and how we are all given struggles that are tailor-made to each of us. We should not look to be rescued because resolving our problems is part of the process of fulfilling our earthly probation. She referenced a talk in the February Ensign, "Finding Answers", that opens with: "It is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from all difficult situations. Rather, it is the Lord’s will that we learn to handle them.".

While I know that working through things in my life is ultimately my responsibility, I am also keenly aware that I need not travel that path alone. He will not reach in and pull me out of the surging river, but He WILL get in there with me and hold my head above the waterline until my arms and legs find adequate support to pull myself out. He gives me little tidbits of encouragement in the most unlikely of places: A video posted on facebook of a talk by Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf entitled "Be Patient In Your Trials" where he says that "Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can. Working, hoping and exercising faith...bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our heart are delayed." and a quote in the Sunday School program by Elder Richard G. Scott: "Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6). Thus every time you try your faith--that is, act in worthiness on an impression--you will receive the confirming evidence of the Spirit. As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise. With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow."

My struggles are well known to my Savior and He will give a portion of His spirit to me to assist me as I seek answers and search for solutions. He will hold my hand and encourage me and be my cheering section, but He will not remove this cup from me. As I drink from the bitter waters of the struggles that my Father in Heaven has deemed most beneficial for me, my Savior will support and succor me. Alma 7:12, "And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

I See His Image!

The holidays are always looked forward to with excitement, anticipation and often a little dread. We know why we celebrate the holiday, but we are mere mortals and susceptible to the stresses and pressures of the season. We want to focus on the birth, life, ministry and Atonement of the Savior, but we yield to the customs and traditions of a material world. Recently, I have seen His image in the countenance of others who truly "get" the meaning of Christmas and the message that our Lord and Savior has shared with us.

For me, this is a particularly difficult Christmas. I find myself throwing one heck of a pity party! My children are all grown and off in other parts of the country. They have to make time for other members of their extended families or they are not in a position to travel. For whatever reason, I find myself alone for Christmas for the first time in my life and I am definitely feeling the impending loneliness. As if this were not enough of a reason to lick my wounds, I am experiencing one minor catastrophe after another and find my resources, patience and faith stretched thin. Just when things look most bleak, someone steps in and brings the perfect brightness of hope that exemplifies the teachings and example of the Savior.

There have been emmisaries of the Savior showing themselves through their actions and love that have demonstrated to me how He manifests Himself to us. I have had a very dear and cherished friend offer to fly me to be with family because he didn't want me to be alone through the holidays. I have had ward members and friends come to perform an act of service by trimming and pruning a large tree that has been making a nuisance of itself in my yard. When the alternator went out in my car and it became a matter of paying other bills or buying a new part for my car, my brother in law purchased the part AND traveled from another state to install it for me.

Our Father in Heaven truly loves each of us and because of this great love, He uses others to be His hands and His eyes and His loving arms. It is through others that His miracles are accomplished in our lives. When we reach out to help those around us and show kindness, love and mercy, we are allowing the Savior's image to show in our countenance.

As the recent recipient of so much love and generosity, I realize that I am never truly alone. My Savior is there with me every step of the way and wants nothing more than to lighten my burdens and share my joys. It is through the Christlike efforts of others that I am able to see this unfold in my day to day life.

As miraculous and wondrous as the miracles accomplished through others are, there is one gift from the Savior that comes only through Him and no matter how pure the intentions of those around us, it is only through Christ that the Atonement is available to us. Choices that have caused me to distance myself from the Savior, however briefly, can be overcome through humble application for forgiveness and a willingness to be obedient and follow His teachings. Does that mean that I will never falter again? No. I will fall, but I can get back up and repent and try again.

It's the process of perfection and the effort given to it that matters. We will not see perfection in mortality, but we can strive towards it every day. In the book "Continuous Atonement" by Brad Wilcox, he gives the analogy of the sacrament prayer. The prayer is an ordinance and therefore must be verbatim. When there is a mistake, the priest must start over again. There is no limit to the number of attempts that he can make until the delivery is perfect and when it is finally completed without error, the entire effort is counted as perfect.

This Christmas may be a little different for me with respect to how it is spent and with whom, but in many ways, it will be remembered as one in which a tremendous outpouring of love has been shown to me and an affirmation that I am NEVER alone. If I draw myself closer to Him, he will most certainly recieve me and draw closer to me.

When it touches close to home

For the last 22 years, my family has been close to the Linehans...so close in fact that my kids have grown up referring to them as aunt Kerri and uncle Ed. Their kids have grown up with my kids. My daughter lived with them through parts of college and would come "home" to their home on holidays and weekends. They are closer in some ways than my own family.

Two days ago, their son, Eddie, was in a severe car accident. He has been clinging to life for the last 48 hours with bleeding in the brain and rising inter-cranial pressure. My oldest daughter has spent many hours alongside Ed and Kerri as they grapple with this tragedy. It is as though it was one of her own siblings laying there.

We don't know what the outcome is for Eddie and the prognosis remains somewhat grim, but through this ordeal, my thoughts are drawn to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the light and hope that is offered through his atoning sacrifice. It's easy for me to say because it isn't my baby in that bed, but I know that there is a plan for each of us and the Lord is looking after Eddie and will continue to do so.

I love you Eddie.....hang in there baby.